Jerusalem Post

ByEYMI BECHOR-BOUNI

Eymi Bechor-Bouni has been a family law attorney for 25 years. Two years ago, she began a personal experiment that initially involved only a small change – and today everything looks different.

We are used to thinking that happiness is a bonus that comes after we succeed. But the truth is the opposite: Mental health and internal quality of life are not luxuries; they are a basic condition for effectiveness, creativity, and success.
So what is the connection between happiness and productivity? Today I know how to answer that in one word: Everything. But it wasn’t always like that.
I changed the question
I am a family law attorney. For 25 years already. That means I wake up every morning to manage other people’s crises. I dive into the relationships of strangers in crisis, experience breakups with them, wills, challenges with children when it comes to family breakdown – pain that has no schedule.

I got used to fighting. To being focused. To managing. To surviving.

I got used to working at the heart of the storm. To being functional. Sharp. Task-oriented. But then, the body started to speak, and not in a language I liked. My productivity declined, and there, in the least efficient place, I understood something simple: I could be the most productive person in the world, and still, if I live with internal unrest, the entire system will collapse. I suffered from frequent stomachaches, found myself under emotional overload that led to panic attacks, and I asked myself if it was worth it.
On the one hand, doing something meaningful, and on the other, experiencing immense mental difficulty at the same time.
So I changed the question. Instead of asking every morning “How can I get more done?” I started asking – “How do I feel this morning, and how can I feel better today?”
This step changed the entire way I work. And also the way I live.

Mental health is not a privilege; it is infrastructure. It is the primary fuel for success in life that only comes after we feel happy. The illusion that if we succeed, we will be happy is a mistake. It is exactly like that – only reversed: Only when we feel good in our own skin, in our place, will true success come in all areas of life.
And no, I am not saying that everything is always calm. I still live in a noisy world, with heavy cases, urgent clients, and a phone that never rests. But within all this, I do not give up one moment a day that grounds me.
I dedicated 2023 to a personal experiment that I did to try and learn how to look at everything differently, optimistically, and practically – but in the right direction. So every morning I posted on my Instagram a simple daily insight, a sentence, an exercise, a thought, or a tip that could change the moment for me. Just for me! Even when I didn’t have the energy. Even when I was abroad. Even when I hated myself for this commitment.
But slowly, something surprising happened: I became calmer. Happier. And mainly, much more effective.It didn’t happen because I stopped working hard, but because I started investing in myself. I turned the spotlight on me – I focused for one moment a day on my internal quality of life, just as I invest in every task in my business.
The most important principles
So what really makes us more efficient, creative, and focused? Here are 6 simple principles that start from within:
1. Treat yourself like your most important project
If you had a meeting with a strategic partner, would you cancel it for another phone call? So why cancel your meal, your sleep, your workout? You are the most important project you have.
2. Plan breathing moments, not just tasks
Don’t leave rest for “if there’s time left.” Put it on your calendar. Give it the status of an important task. And take a moment to really breathe. Deeply, with eyes closed for at least five breaths. You will immediately feel how the body slows itself down and allows you to think clearly.
3. Turning off screens will turn on awareness
15 minutes a day without notifications does more for your focus than any time management technique. Think of it as medicine for your inner peace.
4. Every morning – ask one question
What will make me feel good today? Not what needs to be accomplished. What will bring energy into the system? Maybe it’s a salad at lunch, maybe a workout, maybe a good conversation with someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Put it in your calendar, like any other task.
5. Talk to yourself as if you were someone you appreciate
Encourage, forgive, thank yourself. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. But those who return self-compassion to themselves also return the ability to move forward. Remember that happiness is not a luxury. It’s not something we’ll celebrate when we have time. It is infrastructure. An engine. A mirror.
6. The real question to ask ourselves at the end of the day is not “What did I accomplish?” but “How did I feel while I was doing it?”
Eymi Bechor-Bouni is a leading family law attorney, owner of one of the top firms in Israel, a lecturer, coach, mediator, and mother of three. She hosts the podcast “The Academy for Crisis Management” and is the author of the book “300 Things I Learned About Relationships, Career and Happiness” (available in bookstores and on the author’s website).